There are certain things that test a couple. It’s a part of life. But if there’s one test in particular that easily can go into the Top Five, it’s wedding planning. Between putting together a budget, navigating through family issues and expectations and finding ways to make sure both of you are happy—it’s enough to take a toll on even the most organized individual!
In the midst of so much wedding planning pressure, sometimes couples forget that the wedding only lasts one day; it’s the marriage that is to last a lifetime. Because of this, we want to make sure that you protect the beauty of your relationship in the midst of all of the stress and anxiety that preparing for your special day can bring.
Here are five ways to do just that…
Hire a Wedding Planner
You might think that it’s just another expense but trust us—you will have absolutely NO regrets if you hire a wedding planner for your wedding day (and reception). Not only are they professionally-skilled in how to make your wedding day go off without a hitch, but they usually have relationships with vendors so that you can save (more than) a few dollars too.
The key to getting the best kind of planner is to hire someone who was personally referred if you can. If that isn’t possible, interview 3-5 people. Make sure they all have a website and references. Then go with the individual who makes you feel like they are looking forward to working with you; not someone who is a control freak who likes to run things.
Divvy Up Responsibilities
Sometimes conflict arises when the groom doesn’t feel like he has much of a say so in the festivities. Brides are automatically going to be overwhelmed if they try and doing EVERYTHING on their own. The thing is, they don’t have to.
Contrary to popular belief, it’s not just “the bride’s day” because two people are getting married. Keeping this in mind, take out a couple of hours to see what both of you are passionate about and enjoy doing. If you’re the bride and want to be in charge of the flowers, there ya go. If the groom-to-be loves music, let him handle the music for the ceremony and reception. Problem solved.
Set Clear Family Boundaries
If you want a crash course in how to handle in-laws, wedding planning will certainly do it. You can be sure that just about everyone and their grandma are going to have an opinion about what you should and shouldn’t do for your wedding. That alone can evoke a lot of pressure. The way to keep the stress down is to remember that everyone other than you and yours are guests. Take the opinions you want. Politely disregard the ones that you don’t. Present a united front on both.
Go on “Non-Wedding Dates”
Too much of ANYTHING can be overkill. Wedding planning is no exception. No matter how much needs to get done and how much time that you have, it’s imperative that you prioritize your relationship; it’s essential that you remember why the two of you decided to get married in the first place.
The best way to keep the intimacy and emotional connection strong is to plan non-wedding dates. What are those? Dates where both of you promise—ahead of time—to discuss anything and everything BUT your wedding. If you do this one thing, you’ll be amazed what two hours “off of the clock” can do to re-energize you.
Before you try and excuse yourself out of this one, here are clear signs of sleep-deprivation—moodiness, fatigue, irritability, forgetfulness, an increase in accidents, illness and sometimes even in death. What are your wedding to-do list is worth any of this?!
Make it a priority to get no less than six hours of sleep a night. Eat foods like almonds, herbal tea, eggs, avocadoes, spinach, salmon, berries, turkey, oranges and blueberries to keep you calm. Put some lavender essential oil on your wrists and on your pillow cases to make it easier to relax.
If you and your partner do these five things, we’re confident that you’ll be able to remain on the same page of the wedding day planning part of your love story.
©Shellie R. Warren/2018