When you finally make the decision to marry the one whom you love more than anyone else in the entire world and you choose to do it in front of all of the other people that you care about, the pressure is on to get your vows just right.
You can go the traditional route and repeat what the officiant says. Or, you can write some of your own.
Unless you’re a professional writer, understandably, the thought of doing the latter can seem a bit intimidating. But if you follow our seven tips for putting your wedding vows together, as you’re standing in that beautiful Glendale banquet hall (for example) and looking into your partner’s eyes, we guarantee that you won’t regret going this route.
Meet With Your Fiance’/Fiancee’ First
You probably want to surprise each other with exactly what you’re going to say. That’s cool. But still have a couple of meetings to discuss what you want to focus on. Maybe one of you can talk about how you met while the other can discuss the day you got engaged. It’s also a good idea to hone in on the kinds of things you want to vow to one another. That way, both of you are in sync.
Answer Certain Relationship Questions
If you need help with a starting point, how about answering a few questions about your relationship? What are some memorable experiences that you have? How do you balance one another out? What are the qualities you both admire in one another? Things like that. Are you still struggling? Think about what you’d want to know about another couple if you were guests at their wedding and listening to them recite their personal vows. Whatever those questions are? Apply them to your own vow preparation.
Add Personal Touches
You don’t want people to feel like you and your sweetheart are talking at each other. They need to feel more like they’re eavesdropping on a sentimental conversation the two of you are having. You can pull this off by adding some personal touches. What’s something not many know about your relationship? Or what are a couple of things on your bucket lists that you can’t wait to check off together?
But Not TOO Personal
At the same time, what you don’t want to do is get so personal that your parents wish they could sink into the floor because they are super-embarrassed. What could those things be? Details about your sex life immediately come to mind. There is such a thing as TMI (Too Much Information), even with vow-exchanging. Always keep that in mind.
Keep It At 2-3 Minutes—TOPS
Say that you’re getting married in a Los Angeles wedding venue that is breathtaking, your wedding dress is mind-blowing and everything seems to be absolutely perfect. Only, even your bridesmaids and groomsmen are yawning because your wedding vows are going on…and on…and on. When you’re in the midst of declaring your undying love, it can be really easy to get carried away. One way to keep the ceremony on schedule is by mutually agreeing that each of your vows to be no less than one minute and no more than three.
Write Them At Least 4-5 Weeks Before the Wedding
A HUGE mistake that far too many couples make is deciding to say personal vows to each other but then waiting until two days before their wedding day to start writing them. Your vows don’t need to sound rushed—and they will if you want until the last minute to do them. Start drafting no less than a month before your wedding and mutually-commit to having them completed no less than 10 days before the big day. That gives you time to look them over, sleep on ‘em and add (or subtract) what needs to be said rather than waiting until the last minute and them not turning out to be as good as you would’ve liked.
Actually Vow Something
Remember, wedding vows are promises that you’re making to your significant other as it relates to the kind of spouse you intend to be. So, as you’re in the midst of figuring out what to say, don’t forget to VOW SOMETHING. Do you vow to be with them forever? Do you vow to be their biggest cheerleader and support system? Do you vow to love them in a way that will help them to flourish? Personal vows should be enjoyable to recite and listen to, but they are also a significant part of your wedding day. Make sure that there are assurances declared in the midst of funny stories, inside jokes and special touches, OK? Then you won’t regret penning personal vows. Promise.
©Shellie R. Warren/2018